Increase Your Medical Vocabulary

Woman in a light blue shirt laughs deeply

Since laughter is the best medicine, please enjoy increasing your medical vocabulary with these puns:

Artery: The study of fine paintings

Barium: What doctors do when patients die

Catscan: Searching for kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Coma: A punctuation mark.

D&C: Where Washington is

ER: The things on your head that you hear with

Fester: Quicker than someone else

Genes: Blue denim slacks

Hemorrhoid: A male from outer space

Impotent: Distinguished, well-known

Medical Staff: A doctor’s cane
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates

Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move
Outpatient: A person who has fainted

Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad
Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative: A letter carrier

Red Blood Count: Dracula

Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman Emperor

Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Thorax: A Dr. Seuss character
Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak
Tumor: More than one, an extra pair

Varicose: Near by/close by
Vein : Conceited